31 Topics about Team Fortress 2 – Episode 9

He must suffer from Funny Guy Douchey Photo Syndrome.

Princess?

Yeah, I know. Strong word. Packs a lot of connotations. Hear me out on this one. What’s a stereotypical princess like to us, the generation raised under the Disney Renaissance era? She’s a strong-headed, stubborn lady with a pair of pipes, animal sidekicks, and the swishiest clothes in any cast of characters. Also, great hair. Can’t forget about that. So, who’s the graceful man in the long coat? Who’s the one with a flock of doves following his every move? The one whom can play a saw like a violin? The one with that one little swirl of hair on his forehead?

Goddamn. All he needs is a song about wanting more out of his existence.

The Medic’s got flair. You can’t deny his style. He’s a silver fox. Have you looked at that weirdly perfect smile of his? Did Mephistopheles throw those pearly whites in for free? His movements are sharp and crisp. His boots are immaculate. He’s got a bit of flamboyance to his strutting. He’s a good lookin’ fellow, even more so when you consider that he’s probably the eldest member of the team.

You know what’s fantastic about playing as a Medic? You piss people off and you don’t even touch them. Just merely not dying is enough to send opponents in a frothing rage. The best Medic players are the ones that dance. They weave around behind their patients, using the Medic’s natural speed to throw off people targeting them. He’s got a little bit of natural health regeneration. The Medic’s hard to get rid of if you can’t fire an accurate shot. Of course, one should never scoff the Medic’s equipment. If you’ve got a capable Medic on your hands, you can count on them taking a few stragglers out on their own. There’s nothing more amusing than watching a man full of syringes do a face plant.

The Medic truly is a rarity amongst video game characters. So few male healers exist in video games. Usually, that role is saved for shoving a woman into the plot. For me, it’s extremely frustrating to play games where the leading woman is nothing more than a mobile health dispenser. Doubly so if they’re the main character’s love interest! He’s very unique, in that sense. He provides a great deal of support, but you wouldn’t want to cross him on a bad day. Not unless you want to end up in one of his experiments, anyway.

He still might be the main character’s love interest. Ahem.

Let’s talk about those medical experiments, shall we? The Medic’s not exactly looking for the cure for cancer. He’s jamming random organs and contraptions into his teammates. He has dishes with different hearts in his fridge. Also, a Spy’s head. Don’t touch that. Wonder what happens when he gets even more off the wall? Vivisection would not surprise me as a hobby of his. I’m not just saying that he cuts his teammates open and looks at their guts for fun. I’m saying full on Doctor Moreau shenanigans. Someday, there’s going to be an enemy Scout with little wings surgically attached to his ankles. It’s going to be horrifying and awkward for everyone involved.

What about a kinder Medic? Well, he’s full of enthusiasm and curiosity. Maybe he’d be a touch like Miss Frizzle. He wants to know and investigate everything. You could not keep this guy standing still in a zoo. One day, the infirmary will overflow with some random chemical because he decided to get a little punchy with that old paper mâché volcano trick. God only knows what hair-brained recipes he’s made in the kitchen. (Maybe some kind of popping gelatin? Half Jell-O, half Pop Rocks, and tastes like Tang.) He’d probably be in the Engineer’s hair, too. Well, scalp, anyway. If there is anything he wants to harness for his own practice and reward, he’ll learn how to do that activity.

I believe it’s hard to make the Medic fear most creatures. His sense of wonder overrides his initial reactions. If he met Dracula himself, he’d have his fingers in the old vampire’s mouth. Not to say he wouldn’t end up a drained husk on the ground, but he’s going to have his inquiries answered first. His nosiness would be off-putting towards his superiors. It would be hard to hide the true nature of the RED versus BLU quarrel if the Medic ever decided to investigate it.

That leads me into a sensitive topic. (Jump down two paragraphs if you’d like to skip this topic. That’s perfectly fine.) It’s one most “Team Fortress 2” fans have speculated on from time to time. The Medic’s German. He’s old enough to have lived in Nazi Germany. What was he doing at that time? Despite his nature being unscrupulous at times, it’s hard to imagine that he could have been a rank-and-file member of the National Socialist party. In fact, Robin Walker outright stated that he was not a Nazi. Word of God says he’s not a Nazi? Then he’s not a Nazi. Case closed. Still, we don’t have an answer as to what occurred. Did they try to get him to comply with their demands? Was he ever a prisoner due to his background or lifestyle? Was he just an unfortunate citizen? Did he run away? What happened to the Medic?

I don’t know if he would have ended up in a concentration camp. I don’t know if he could have made rank in the Nazi party. He’s a bit too capricious and stubborn to fall in line with a strict militant sect. I do believe, however, that he pulled a Von Trapp and got the fuck out of the country. There were a huge number of intelligent people that fled Germany and the European continent at that time. He was probably one of many that ran. Man, no wonder he gets along with the Heavy so well. Both of them saw more serious shit than the rest of their teammates combined.

And to think that had events happened differently, the Medic and the Heavy could have been the worst of enemies instead of the best of friends.

That’s one horror story that could be told about the Medic. That’s probably not the last one, either. Still, we’ve got a lot of options for exploring his more upbeat experiences. The Medic is the perfect madman to set any story sailing. Out looking for monsters? How about a cure for a rare disease that’s plaguing the team? Did someone get knocked up? You know who’s going to have to deal with that. Can he ever be nurturing, or is he always unnerving as hell? His supportive nature with his teammates makes for great buddy comedy. Hell, with the right person, you might be able to throw in just the slightest touches of romance.

Maybe it’s best just to follow him around and see what story develops from his shenanigans. He tails you all day long, after all. Might as we be kind and give him a chance to lead.